Thursday, June 04, 2009

11 weeks!!!!

Whoa, didn't think I would ever get here (as I sit here trying to update my blog and trying not to puke). I can't believe I have two weeks left in the first tri. I am not counting down or anything, right? Now that I am on the brink of the promise land, the second trimester, it just can't get here soon enough. I can't wait, it's like everything will all fall into place, hopefully my m/s will go away, the baby is hopefully healthy and out of the m/c woods, and we can finally tell people.
I am sick as a dog right now and about ready to go crawl back up into bed for the night. My afternoon/evening sickness turned into an all day sickness today. It was just miserable, from the moment I woke up I knew I was in trouble. I layed in bed, debating on calling off of work. I have gotten through my whole pregnancy so far not misssing an ounce of work, I had gotten through it. It was easier to deal with when it would come on at 3-4pm, only a hour of two to make it through the day before I crashed on the couch. But today, I couldn't shake it. I tried two nutri-grain bars in the morning, no relief. Even regular, not baked, (gasp!) lays potato chips, recommended by my OB, from the work vending machine. They helped for about 20 minutes then the nausea came flooding back. My Subway veggie sub (which has been my pregnancy staple as of late) didn't even help. 30 minutes of goodness all lost. I had a 1-2pm meeting and I managed to suffer through it, luckily it was a guest speaker so I just had to look alive and not like I was going to die. By 2:30, I gave in. The though of staying there another 3 hours vertical was just not going to work. I drove myself home and took a quick detour to Babies R US to try these preggie pops. They are pretty much very expensive hard sour candy that is supposed to take the edge off of morning sickness. I tried one, it did take the edge off. I then had a second and then a third. Afterwards I fell asleep in bed watching General Hospital. I woke up with a nasty preggie pop after taste in my mouth that of course brought back the m/s. We'll see how long these last, they probably will end up in the same category as gold fish crackers and mcdonalds french fries. Delicious in themselves, but eaten when enduring morning sickess equals, nastiness now and never want to eat them again.
My fears are of course ruling my life and I am pretty much still in a "waiting to exhale" phase. I know too much about what can go wrong in a pregnancy so I have definetly not let my guard down yet about this one either. Every milestone brings on new relief, yet to be overtaken by another milestone of worry. I also just read my nestie friend Abbey's blog post today, it was about intuition. She claims that she just "knew" that she was going to miscarry even though she was 12 weeks. Her situation was different, her baby stopped growing at 9 weeks and she cruely didn't find out until the 12th week. I know our baby is still growing, henece the m/s and recent ultra sound pics, however, I am still scared. I don't have any intuition thoughts that it's not going to work out, my situation is a little different, just crazy, worrisome thoughts that will it work out? I don't know if that makes sense but maybe her fear is what she is looking back to now as intuition. Hopefully I will not need to look back, only forward.

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