Thursday, June 23, 2011

Life of a Stay At Home Mom Series {Day 4}: Building A New Hive

Hi there and welcome to Day 4 of the Life of a Stay {At} Home Mom Guest Blogging Series!!! If you are just joining our Life of a Stay {At} Home Mom Series, welcome! Miss a post? You can find all the entries for our series listed for you here.

I am so excited to introduce Cristal today from Building A New Hive.  I started reading Cristal's Blog when it was called The 8'oclock hour.  Our daughters are only a few months apart and I loved reading about her daily life with Jaelyn.  I was very sad to see Cristal eventually taking a break from the blogging world and assumed it was due to the daily grind of being a working Mom and raising a Toddler.  Needless to say, I am so thrilled that she is back to blogging again and sharing her inspiring story with us. 


Hi my name is Cristal and I am from Building a New Hive. My blog used to be called The8oclockhour, BUT when I became a SAHM I changed the name because, well… my life changed. MY road to becoming a SAHM was not the best but the end result ROCKS! Here we go.... My daughter Jaelyn was born May 2009 and my husband and I were so in love with her. Our marriage was a little rough but we were:: waiting :: for it to pass. After Jaelyn turned one my marriage took a turn for the worst, I moved out, went from working part time to working full time (HORRIBLE was in understatement) all in the name of …. (Gulp) DIVORCE! During my “blog break”, you know the time where you stop blogging because the world is ending, well yea during that I remember thinking; I used to be so happy. What happened?! A lot of people would come up to me and tell me they read my blog and thought my life looked so perfect. One night lying in bed in my small apartment I went back and read my old blog posts. I remember crying nonstop because my life did seem perfect, when in all reality it was falling apart. I had always wanted to be a stay at home mom, from DAY ONE! I had a stay at home mom so for me there was no other choice, for my husband, my working part time was “the life”. I hated every min I was away from Jaelyn. I hated to work, I hated everything I missed and in return resented him for “making” me work, this is that part where my marriage crumbled. After I planned to move out and told Tommy that was my plan and he begged me to stay he got on his hands and knees and said the words I had been waiting for … “I’ll do whatever you want, I want to make your dream come true, I want you to be a stay at home mom” Well by this point I was so mad at “life” that I didn’t believe him and I moved out. After 3 months I filled for divorce and he was served with papers on our 4 year wedding anniversary. The thing is , Tommy was in a place where I couldn’t even touch, He was so close to God and KNEW our marriage couldn’t end and wouldn’t with God’s help. As for me and my sorry little self, I was not there, I was mean and hateful and I disgusted myself! After a visit from a friend and a LONG talk my mind started to change. Tommy filled for the divorce process to be stopped and to try counseling. This coming from a man that sat in counseling with me for the LAST 4 YEARS! I knew it wouldn’t work (AGAIN!) but I gave it a shot. I moved back in on Halloween and we took our daughter trick or treating together … I will never forget the smile on Jaelyns face. She had both her parents under one roof once again. BUT it wasn’t over; I still was working too many hours to even begin to focus on my family and marriage. December 1st was my last day of work; we went out for pizza that night to celebrate! My blog name changed to Building a New Hive. It is the story of Our I DO re-do and life as a SAHM. This blog is not FLUFF this blog is honest and brutal. It’s happy and it’s sad. We have called my daughter baby bee since she was born so that is where the whole hive thing comes in. Being a mom is work no matter if you are a SAHM or a Working mom. I have done it all, mothering as a part time working mom, a fulltime over time working mom and now as a stay at home mom. I must say that it is my favorite. I am extremely happy. My biggest reward is when my daughter hugs me with her left arm and my hubby with her right. SHE is the reason I am the mom that I am. She is my world. As far as my marriage is concerned well, Tommy and I have been to HELL … SERIOUSLY … and back. We are SO VERY happy now. We still fight about stupid stuff (marriage is not roses) but the biggest issues in our marriage are resolved. He would do anything for me and Jaelyn (even work a 2nd job, which he does) and I would do anything for him. I have a sassy attitude that tends to come out and that is the biggest deal right now, I have been praying out it nonstop for months now and we are seeing changes, it will take time, but with God anything is possible. God is now the center of our home where he should have been all along. It was an obvious choice for me to be a SAHM, I am now able to devote all of my time to God, Tommy and Jaelyn. I don’t plan on working again until Jaelyn is in school. Tommy is a teacher so I hope to get a job in the school system with him so that we will be on the same schedule (better for family vacations and fun times in the summer) I don’t care what I have to do, I don’t care if I am an office worker or a lunch lady as long as God is first and Family is second, we are in good shape.

Thank you so much Karen for allowing me to participate in your SAHM blog series. If you all would like to follow my personal blog you may and I welcome you to

Happy Reading!

1 comment :

  1. The trick or treating part made me cry. This sounds a little like my life when I was little. My parents split up a couple times and I remember how great I felt when they got back together.
    Great story!


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